A guy once told me that I am a ball of sunshine, and I took that as a reminder that I should show my cheerful side more often. But it proves to be a challenge the past few weeks – I’ve been quite a wreck in most aspects of my life and I’m running out of silver linings of the unacceptable situations that I can’t control or even change. Hence the frequent trips to the nearby coffee shops because I figured if I can’t find something good out of a bad situation, then I should just make my own.
Thankfully, books and coffee are my main source of joy. That’s apart from good food and 90s music. They’re not as expensive as plane tickets and they’re more readily available than your average friend who only responds to your chats when she needs to recruit people for her new multi-marketing business or new buyers for her newest online product. National Book Store’s Thank You Sale just commenced last payday, as this is the most convenient time for them and for us working class as we get to spend more than what we’re supposed to. I decided to drop by one of the nearest branch to me last night and got a couple of titles, in addition to the two other books I bought last Friday. Heaven knows when I’m going to read them, along with the other 26 unread books in the corner of my room probably collecting dust. But what does it hurt? I mean, you’re not a certified bookworm if you don’t buy more new books on top of the ones you haven’t even peeled off from their protective covers, right?
After spending more than 50 per cent less of what I should’ve paid for (oh yes, that Forman book was only Php89), I decided to have coffee. Coffee Project has a good walking distance from the Shangri La Mall but it’s either that or I’ll be stuck at Starbucks and I don’t want that. I don’t like Coffee Project’s interior on most days, as it feels too dark and gloomy for my taste. But last night it was just perfect. It was as if it’s trying to match my mood. Plus, I know this place has lesser people and therefore more peaceful, and gives me the opportunity to reflect on how big a disappointment I am to myself, for believing that people will still keep their words when I know for a fact I’m surrounded with chronic liars and scumbags.
Cafe americano is my standard coffee if I’m having a slice of cake to go with it. The chocolate caramel cake I got is god-send – I take one bite of it followed by a sip of that distinct bitterness only coffee possesses and everything felt better and more real. The sadness brought about by my assumed mistakes dissipated, just like that. Maybe I’m trying to be dramatic, idk. But I’m a hopeless romantic so what could be a better way of describing it but by romanticizing it, right?
Did I leave the place feeling better? A little bit, yes. I continued pondering on the things where I possibly went wrong while listening to sad love songs on my way home. It was raining quite a bit but I got home in an hour, miraculously. I whispered a little prayer before I went to bed, and realized just at that moment that maybe, just maybe, all of these sad feelings are just part of me being a real human being. That days don’t have to be perfect always, but I still have to deal with it because tomorrow is another day. Today is experience. Tomorrow is another gift. We shouldn’t dwell on the past.
What’s your pick-me-up when you feel down so low?