The EX files: When the past haunts you

If you were to sing at your ex’s wedding, what song are you gonna choose?

This is one of the “supposedly” funny memes circulating on Facebook, and as much as I wanted to give my answer on the comments section, I didn’t want to spark controversy (in case the exes were also lurking in that thread). But here, allow me to let go of my restraint and answer the question.

The song would be I’ll Remember, sung by Madonna.

I guess it’s pretty much straightforward, because why not? Let’s face it – no one really forgets their exes, unless you happen to be one of those people who got involved with more than your fingers could count. Besides, this song is totally relatable to just about, well, everyone. It tells something about the truth, about changes, about love and about learning to let go.

Truth begins when all lies end. And heaven only knows how much lies your ex has told you. When he said he was supposed to work overtime but he’s out there having coffee with a so-called “friend” until two in the morning. That one summer evening you suddenly felt so wrong and uneasy, and you realized it’s your own woman instinct telling you that your then-husband now ex was actually screwing another woman you both knew. His seemingly stray text messages asking you about your work, when he knew for a fact that you just got fired. Or maybe when he said he’s dumping you because he didn’t want to burden you with his pain over his dad’s passing, but the truth was he just wanted to bang this hot, tattooed girl in his office.

Quit playing games with my heart, baby.

Of course you cried. We all cried. Heaven witnessed every tear of pain you shed. During those times when you were trying to survive from it, you wondered if people meant well when they asked you how you were, or if they were just simply trying to find out, or maybe even praying you’d die of heartbreak. It took all your willpower to get up and be over it. You were betrayed. And it forced you to recall everything you’ve shared with him, including memories, and figured out which ones were the actual truth and which ones are just false pretenses.

It’s sad, isn’t it? That you gave almost everything and loved faithfully just to be left behind. It’s a bit unfair, yes. But your exes who taught you to cry would also teach you how to stand up and be strong. They are the ones who, in the end, would remind you that not accepting their Facebook friend requests after you were long blocked from their account is not bitterness, but a sign of respect for your hard-earned and much-deserved peace of mind. They’d be the ones to remind you that staying friends with them would be foolish because, what are you gonna talk about when you hang out? The reasons why it didn’t work out? The number of times he cheated on you and moved behind your back? And yes. It would also be them who would teach you to be courteous and have best wishes for them, now that they’re getting married and actually singing a song at their wedding.

You’ve changed. You’ve learned your lesson. You’re now a better person. And maybe this is the exact reason for you to remember them who loved and lied and cheated and left you all at the same time. Because of what they did, you discovered what you’re capable of doing. You realized your worth.

Here’s how the song goes:

Say goodbye
Not knowing when
The truth in my whole life began
Say goodbye
Not knowing how to cry
You taught me that

And I’ll remember
The strength that you gave me
Now that I’m standing on my own
I’ll remember
The way that you saved me
I’ll remember

Inside I was a child
That could not mend a broken wing
Outside I looked for a way
To teach my heart to sing

And I’ll remember
The love that you gave me
Now that I’m standing on my own
I’ll remember
The way that you changed me
I’ll remember

I learned
To let go
Of the illusion
That we can possess
I learned to let go
I travel in stillness
And I’ll remember happiness
I’ll remember…

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